my country

shrekadonky

flag:

this flag represents shrek for the green, the blue stands for the smurfs that died here defending this land before we killed them, the trippiness represents how we created time travel and the red reminds us of our main fruit (akunamatata’s).

history:

the land that we now live on today was once owned by smurfs in 2456….when shrek and donkey sailed out from the shore of far far away they traveled here and used a fruit they found to kill the smurfs called akunamatata, the smurfs were allergic to them and the effect of eating them was….non-stop diarya, nausea, hallucination then leading them to sudden death. shrek and donkey claimed this land on the 12/4/2456.

capital: hogwarts

Hogwarts was first owned by harry potter until shrek swallowed him, the population there is now at 172,637,19. it is approximately 3700 killermeters big and contains over 700,000 motels.

main sports:

shreker games is shrekadonkey’s main sport, it includes 24 people going into shreks swamp. the aim of the game is to not get eaten by shrek. if the game goes for longer than 2 weeks the game will be canceled and the remaining players may leave. another sport is frozen, there is 4 males and 4 women that go in a snowstorm, all of the players must fight to the death by doing a spitball fight until dragons are released by snotlout. then they must try and take down the dragon to win the frozen games.

map:

trading:

shrekadonkey’s trades are very well known because of our rare items. we trade fruit, plants, materials and other building sources. we know that other country’s will not betray or some how trick us, because if they do we pull out our transformers.

this is optimischicken.

king and queen:

shrek for some reason did not ask/want to be king of a country he found. he handed the Throne to king arthur and made  princess leia queen of shrekadonkey but later on donkey rised up to the throne and his wife (the dragon) ate princess leia.

population:

shrekadonkey has a population of 3.7 billion people. thats 37% of the world population, the city that contains the most people is nuketown. it contains 1.7billion people and is around 5-7 thousand killermeters big and uses half of the country’s resources.

UFC

UFC is a sport when all martial art fighters are invited to verse other fighters. you must be ready to get a very hard hit to the face or a giANT LOAD OF CASH, the UFC only invites the best of the best and if you say yes prepare for a life of fam. when you sign a contract to the UFC you literally risk your life.  i’m going to show you the top 3 fighters in the U.ndisputed F.ighters C.hampionship

1. JON JONES

jon jones has a very super effective kick and punch. he likes to toy with his opponent and insult them

2. jose aldo

his fists are fast and furious. he shows respect to the victim he is about to fight.

3.Cain Velasquez

can is a very strong fighter, he dos not show any respect to his enemy in fact he hates them. he knows how to make his opponent angry and make them an easy knockout

these 3 fighters, the most feared and respected in the UFC!

memory

memory

i remember at the age of 4 i was sitting by the fire inside a warm house. i felt a bit alone because my dad was working, my brother was asleep and my mum was getting wood. i went to see my mum out by the shed she was chopping wood. splitting it in half putting a thought in my mind saying that looks rather simple, so as my mum went to go inside with some firewood i ask her if i can chop some wood she says “hold up” but from the distance between us my ears thought she said “yes.” some how i manage to lift the axe and swing it. the first swing was rather easy but pulling it out was hard. after i used most of my strength to pull the axe i lost control and in a matter of seconds i hand the sharp tip of the axe go right into my toe. i remember me screaming in extreme pain i see my mum come she picks me up and rushes me inside, she grabs a cloth to stop my fluids from spreading but it bearly helps, she says that the ambulance are on the way not that i knew what the ambulance were at the time but as soon as they arrived i remember going to sleep and when i woke up i saw lights flashing i remember seeing those lights the same way every single time i goto the hospital. they asked me what foot hurts? i remember i couldn't even speak i was in so much pain that i was crying for the entire time but by the time i stopped i was back asleep. i woke up feeling better my mum looks at me with joy and my father just arrived at the time and he looks at me glad to. 7 years later i am scared with a deformed toe i had 18 stitches and the marks are still there until today.

top 10 nz disasters

MATHS

what are the worst top 10 nz disasters.

1. Plane crash 28 nov 1979 mt Erebus, ross dependency, Antarctica 257 deaths no survivors.
2. Hawke's bay earthquake 3 feb 1931 20km north of Napier 256 deaths.
3. Ship wreck HMS orpheus 7 feb 1863 off the manukau heads near auckland 189 deaths.
4. Christchurch earthquake 22 feb 2011 185 deaths 3 survivors.
5. Tangiwai disaster 24 dec 1953 rail accident N.I.M.T  whangaehu river bridge, between waiouru  and ohakune (151 deaths).
6. SS Tararua shipwreck 29 apr 1881 off waipapa point 131 deaths.
7. SS Wairarapa shipwreck 29 oct 1894 off great barrier island 121 killed.
8. Mount Tarawera eruption volcanic eruption 10 june 1886 mount tarawera 108-153 killed.
9. Fiery star shipwreck 11 may 1885 250 kilometers of  chatham island 87 kills .

  10.Matoaka shipwreck (presumed) 1869 between lyttelton and                      london 79 deaths.

*FROM Skye and Kaha*

10 lies about my dog

10 lies about my dog

1. my dog can fly to space in 3 seconds
2. he is every single speeches of dogs
3. his name is fluffy bacca1279
4. my dog was born in the titanic
5. my dog is 23.12 meters tall and 27.43 meters long
6. he likes to shove cats into his noose
7. he likes to wear tight jeans and snapbacks
8. when he walks down the street he likes talking  walls
9. if he wears my clothes he does an accident like a russian
10. when he's at school he tells his friends he's a wooky

Zero draft

1. exaggerate
2. talk about an object like if it is human
3. use detail and punctuation

Example: as i touched the sharp edges of the tin. i feel the tip of my index finger leak with blood. somehow bleeding more then enough. i take my revenge by sticking a device in its head twisting it. turning it until the shell of his skull is ripped off from the rest of its body. as my revenge continues i decide to go further and rip out its origins. i put them in my mouth using a object perfectly curved but not good enough to stop the vital fluid drip from my mouth.

China

china

population:

1,364,960,000

last count June 11, 2014

19% of world population

timezone:

time in china: 8:53 am

time in new zealand: 12:55 pm

great wall of china

built in 206 bc

During its construction, the Great Wall was called the longest cemetery on earth

every inch that was built 1 man died

they put all of the dead bodies inside the wall

The Great Wall of China is the longest man-made structure in the world

Vignette

Vignette

on a school camp (curious cove) me, Cullen, jared and ittai were thinking of what we should perform. i thought it would be funny to do the scene of gandalf the grey but ittai and cullen wanted to do the haka but jared wanted to screw it up and dance. so i said lets do all of them jared’s idea then it was my turn, then ittai’s. now considering we went from funny to serious i don't think that was a good combination. sometime on the day when it was time to perform we were very nervous but when i reenacted you shall not pass! people seemed to like it with the fact that i made a spear to help me…not in like that way you know i mean? well i think you do at least. when we got back to school i lost my spear and i would like 10 seconds of silence for that :(

Bear bones

bear bones

every saturday morning

i wake up with a sow back

i get changed and have breakfast

i go into my brothers room and do my hair

i leave the house and goto my game at the rugby park

i get there and warm up for my match

i sometimes score a try

i get hurt

after the match i go to mcdonalds

i buy an ice cream with chocolate inside it

i head back home and watch movies with my mum

i go to sleep

speech

top 5 most popular videogames

number 1 gta5.

GTA 5 arrives with the highest of expectations, but it exceeds almost all of them to become one of the greatest games of all time, allowing you to fly a plane, drive a car and crash a boat they didn’t stop there they allowed you to do so much more! you can use guns and take money from a safe way to going on the most wanted list of the cops also making it online made this game famous you are able to do drag races, capture the flag, team deathmatch and just normal gta5.

number 2 the last of us.

the last of us is a very harsh and drama game even the way it is but putting zombies into this puts it to a very action like game with more then enough topics on this game.  leaving a story one after another it brings so much curiosity to the player and the great thing is that the gamemakers reveal all there stories at the end making this the 2nd best game.

number 3 minecraft.

this game is rather well known to those who don’t even play it with your imagination you can go further than ever allowing you to build your own house, make your own tools and armor and kill those who attack and do smart traps. but you can also go online and do minigames copied off movies and other games to feel what it would be like to be in a movie or a game you have never played, killing other online people or making friends to kill those you hate most but this game can become quite addicting because this game never ends.

number 4 black ops 2.

this game was well known by the first black ops and bringing more excitement this game features zombies and instead of doing one map alone you can do all maps with friends at test your skills by getting up to a high round but if zombies isn’t your thing then play some team deathmatch. the min objective is to get as many kills as you can before ten minutes are up.

number 5 batman arkham city.

this game is rather amazing giving you the choice to do missions or roam free having fun defeating the jokers men.

another great thing is that the stories you unlock creating more myths that were forgotten or re-created allowing this game to get the final place on the top 5 countdown.

bear skinner (story)

"it was 1914 USA had just won the war and without the US military i had nowhere to sleep besides the ground, eat without stealing and drink without drinking water from a river.""as i approached the end of a dark forest i saw the devil standing there, how do i know its him you ask by his left hove he where's only 1 shoe also he wears a green coat.""i ask him are you waiting for me because if you are you're wasting your time, he replies with a yes but i'm not wasting my time, he grins, i feel a slight chill go up my back a one knowing that i'm being played."so what do you want then?" “just a friendly deal” he says. “thats not happening” trust me it is….but why would you?” “why would i what?” “trust me…..heres a deal i will give you all the riches you need but you'll have to wear this” “where what?” then i see what he means as a bear approaches, i have no other choice to kill it otherwise it will kill me so i pull out my rifle and point right at the creature, staring at its eyes for its last moment….i pull the trigger. BANG! “now hop in the bear its perfect fit for you.” he says with his grin getting bigger and bigger. “wait what’s the rest” “the rest of the deal you ask?” “huh yes the rest of the deal” “well if you were this bear skin you're pockets will always be filled of gold.” “and what do you get?” i ask. “well i wasn't finished….if you were this for 7 years without any holy words or bathing in any water and you may not take it off! if you succeed i will leave you and you're riches alone but if you don’t you're soul will be mine forever.” i think about it...i really need the money but doing these three things for seven years is possible but extremely rare to survive a deal from the devil...i accept this deal and hop in the bear skin and check my pockets, there full of gold my face fills with goye but then i remember my punishment. “wait!” i turn around to deny the deal but he's already gone. so i went off to look for a village, i remember walking for a while...seeing things on the way or though i’m not sure what they were?. i found a village tired and weak i stop at a hotel for rest, the next morning i get some food from a local bar everyone seems to like my bear clothing. i go through my first year, thinking this is going to be rather easy until i see how much filth i’m covered in so as i almost take a bath i remember the deal no bathing, no holy words and no taking off the bear skin. i see this is going to be rather hard so i go to the pub for a drink and it seems like if everyone thinks i’m an actual bear. “Hi one whiskey please” but the man doesn't seem to respond  i say again “one whiskey” this time he moves...but he doesn't seem to be concentrating. he's spilling every drink he touches i think to myself i better leave so i walk out the door confused. another 2 years have past i now know that i have to options 1 let myself give in and commit suicide or carry on like this alone and afraid. i choose to carry on like this not like there was a big chance of giving the devil my soul. i start having very bad dreams seeing me in hell and how i will be killed so many ways i have seen how i could be killed. the next month or so i see a lady crying, she seems to be holding a newborn boy….i approach her, she moves away as if her legs were broken i say to her “don't be afraid here” i give her a hand full of gold. “bless you” she says. “how can i repay you” in a happy voice...a thought comes to my head. “pray for me” she agrees to pray with me, i thank her and walk off. that night my dreams seem to be happy i have a feeling that makes me fill with joy so i think to myself i know what to do. evening that day i see people in need for help and like last night i do so…..i help. another year pass and i realize there’s only 2 more days until seven years are up, my face fills with joy knowing i am out of the devils flame but on the way for a walk in a park i saw a man sitting on a crate crying i can tell he has children just by the way he looks and i give him a pocket of gold, he thanks me and he says “in return i will allow you to marry 1 of my 3 daughters” i react extremely surprize and i say yes but the way i look bothers me and i do know them.  i arrive at his house and all 3 of his daughters are as beautiful as you could get but i know all of them will deny my request for marriage….the youngest daughter says i’m to filthy and the oldest one says i'm to ugly but the middle aged daughter says “i will agree to marry you just bring this ring back in two days” i nod my head and take off to the dark forest, when i arrived….the devil is waiting to me he has a massive frown on his face i say “times up” he replies “ i know you may have your freedom and your money” “Also some new clothing” i look at him and smile….i take all his clothes leaving him with nothing but the bear skin and then run off knowing i will be late just late to return the ring but i make it in time...it seems that the other 2 daughters are very interested in me now considering i shaved and bathed but i walk to the lady i’ve agreed to marry and i say “marry me” but she says “sorry i’ve already promised my marriage to another man” i pull at the ring and her face lights up with feelings that can’t be explained and i say once more “marry me” she replies “yes”.....and we lived happily ever after.

to much nonsense

more nonsense

i once jumped in a pool of air it hurt my bum :(

when i hopped out the pool my house was full of lava and puppies also my grandma came out the oven with cookies.

after all the lava was swallowed by my mum she puked it out by a river with a newborn speeches in it that just went instinct.

my friend comes over and he says i made a ps5 when my tv turns on and it shows the new ps5….i punch him inside his nose and shove a booger in his mouth and he falls out my window...he lands on a ant….the ant breaks the fall so i shoot him with my water pistol now he’s dead.

suddenly i see a jar of jam walking down the street eating people then i see a alien ship come down and then toast take the jam into the ship and fly to planet poopoo pancake and there's morgan freeman sitting on a stone chair with an axe made out of gummy bears he smashes the jam and the jam turns into toast.

my mum gets arrested for stealing a toothbrush...she gets sentence 70 years in prison.

writing

Looks like a man that's stept on the dead and survived on a field, missing the bullet to his head, old and not feed.

his smell is worse than a dead cow, people say his smell is to long to tell.

his voice is deep, loud and speaks with no emotion to be found, one like me can tell.

genuis hour

sir isaac newton

birth: January 4 1643 in woolsthorpe united kingdom

death: March 31 1727 in london united kingdom

life story

On January 4, 1643, Isaac Newton was born in the lands of Woolsthorpe, Lincolnshire, England. He was the only son of a local farmer, also named Isaac Newton, who died three months before he was born. A premature baby born tiny and weak, Newton was not expected to survive. When he was 3 years old, his mother, Hannah Ayscough Newton, remarried a  minister, Barnabas Smith, and went to live with him, leaving young Newton with his  grandmother. The experience left an imprint on Newton, later manifesting itself as an acute sense of insecurity....He attended Trinity College, in Cambridge at the age of 19 to study gravity.

my memory

when i was six my mum saw my right eye go left while my other eye stay straight...she wondered what was wrong after a couple days . she covered my right eye and asked how many fingers am i holding up i answered wrong . she did it again and i answered wrong again now she was curious so she took me to the doctor. it turned out i was blinded in my right eye. my mum was amazed so was my family and friends that i was unable to see on my right side. the next month or so she said she was taking me to Christchurch to try and make it capable for vision but they couldn't do anything about it they were afraid that it would make things worse. my mum was worried that my right eye could stop me from playing sports because i have no vision on my right side but i know she was even more worried that if my left eye will have no vision from rugby or something. on the other hand my dad was only scared for school if kids picked on me because of it like playing dodge ball and hitting me in the face on purpose and poking the finger in front of me.

this is my memory

more nonsense

nonsense

On the 4th of june a vampire named pugapoo was flying out in the dimension of hell to find some hell hounds to eat until he saw a fat sumo man jumping 50-100 meters in the air saying “i bumped mah kitteh” for some reason...so pugapoo went past as slowly as possible to catch the smell of the sumo’s armpit. in earth there is a monster in a coach’s underwear. pugapoo was very hungry, he hadn't ate in 2375560 years because he was trapped in a coffin that was made out of tin foil. he couldn't break out, a man chopped him into five pieces for the fun of it. it took him forever aka 2 million years to join his body parts using only his head. a boy on earth was writing a nonsense story just wondering why is he putting in  random things also he has put in two aka’s now three aka’s now four aka’s now five aka’s now six…….anyway he had no idea why he was doing things like this and just letting his mind go free.

50 words

“Yawn! where am i? mum dad anyone?.”

“yes?.”

“Who are you?.”

“I'm your friend...your best friend.”

“no you're not I've gotta be dreaming.”

“this is very much real as me and you”

“no it can’t be, why is this place made out of rocks you dude?.”

To be continued...

10 lies about my body

1. I ate a 5 foot-long subway then i grew 0.35 meters.
2. when i was little i did a fart that caused global warming but the smell faded away after 5 years.
3. i was born on a rocket in 1964 and i flew to the moon then my body absorbed a alien force slime making me beautiful?.
4. i was 6 when i got shot in the eye (with some kind of liquid), it did no damage to me but it did give me no contact in the right eye.
5. my stomach stopped a nuke from hitting Australia but the gas burned my hole body and made my skin chocolate colored.
6. i'm tall because my dad stretched me with his 5 meter roller.
7. i have two big buck teeth because i’m related to bugs bunny.
8. when i was 4 my toe got cut by a chief at kings-gate because my toe looked like a union.
9. i have a metal plate in my head because i had surgery for a new skull when my brother kicked me in the head.
10. i am very hairy because my dad is half wooky.

curious cove camp w6 T1 2014

Curious cove by kaha

At Curious cove we had sooo much fun besides traveling  for 16 hours!. When we arrived at Picton we traveled on water for  about an hour, using  the manger  of Curious cove camp’s boat (Tony).when we arrived the place looked bizarre cause you can't say no to a playground with 3 trampolines, 2 swings, a four rope turny thing? and...3 trampolines! On our second day at curious cove, room 14 and myself did some camp activities such as kayaking, fishing, swimming  with a chance of being stung by a jellyfish, and a spooky flying fox that I went on once and only once!.Also syndicate 4 had to do some diary writing as some people call it.

I also have awards to camp’s funniest, scariest and battling best moments.

Funniest kayak award

For this award someone tried getting off a kayak without getting wet but you can’t do that on water :P, the funniest kayak award goes to...Jack Olsen for being a true  scaredy cat and not wanting to touch the water when he sunk his kayak…

Scaredest person on a flying  fox

Now this award had a close tie to someone else but the decision has been made and the winner is...Josh walker for screaming like a 5 year old girl.

Most war wanting kayaker

there is no doubt who wanted to crash into people and annoy everyone more than kaha matenga but there was one that went around, his equal (thor  gardner).

and the winner of most war wanting kayaker is...Kaha matenga for helping the wind and water tip joseph stanton after about 10.28 seconds! thats a new RECORD!.

Best pig chasser

this award has been captured for one of mother nature's weakest moments, if you were on this camp and a female i'm pretty sure you'd know who i’m talking about...obviously the winner is Skye Tauwhare for catching a pig and Eve for helping.(sorry eve don’t know your last name)

stealing the stage

the final award has first, 2nd and third place.for third place i think this deserved 2nd but the votes are done...and third place is Kobie! for doing a soulja boy thug dance with his friends.now for 2nd place, again on my opinion deserved 1st place.anyway 2nd place is Itai’s group for reenacting you shall not pass off gandalf  and doing a haka.Now for the final person that i would say wrecked the stage...finn sharp for a solo act and doing a song (wrecking ball) with  

actions that made him shine like a golden trophy.